Tag: Change

Posted on in mindset

Hard Truths Pt. 4 – The Good News

“In a time of universal deceit – telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” George Orwell

I’ve used four short pages to skip a stone across the surface of two decades of life experience and discovery. I could talk for hours in more depth about the particulars that have led me to some of these thoughts. My purpose in this season is simply to introduce some ideas so that someone might have their lightbulb turned on and someone else might find a companion of like mind on a strange and lonely journey into the truth.

Maybe like I once was, you have found certain truths illuminated and you are trying to navigate between what you thought you knew and what you now know. Maybe you are a little further down the trail and picking the wild flowers of truth that are popping up on either side of the path you are walking. At this point, I hope this series has encouraged you to seek truth and accept the possibility of changing your mind when you find it. I hope you at least comprehend that there are corrupt systems everywhere that do not have your best interest or mine at heart. I hope you understand, know, and believe that you are full of potential, you possess everything you need to heal and thrive. You might need a little help finding it inside of you or some inspiration to create what you were meant to create; that’s okay.

Here is the final Truth, which isn’t so hard to believe but has a lot of hard work and effort behind it to make it reality. Change is on the horizon. The old systems that have secured the blindfold on so many are being exposed and are falling away from those who seek and behold truth. There is a better way. People are incredible creations with passion, purpose, and potential for so much! A lot of us got lost along the way, buried under hurt and trauma. Now some of us have been through the process of healing and finding truth so that we can lift others up and spread hope and love to the world again.

For me, the most positive change was letting go of the expectations (and labels) of others. If you know my story, you know that I am a counselor with extensive training and multiple degrees. At times I have questioned if I wasted much time and money. Yet, I know that everything is useful for learning and growing as a person and professionally. So when I made the decision to not follow through with testing for my LPC (License in Professional Counseling) it was a huge mental battle. I had been taught (brainwashed) to believe that the only good counselor was the one with the right credentials. I spent too much time over the years deciding what those credentials should be for me, earning certifications and credits towards my best laid plans. In fact, I have the degrees and skills for both LPC and MFT credentialling. My heart knew better than to stay on that path. I knew I would be restricted from practicing what I believe and ultimately burn out. It took time, networking, more education – a lot of the self-lead kind, and talking with God to understand what my direction and purpose is. I chose to become a Life Coach. For me, this was the path to freedom for my passion and leading others into freedom as well. No diagnosis, no medication, no dependency on me to fix lives, but the position to share my story and skills and help others in their journeys of healing and learning to live in peace and joy. This is my Why I do what I do.

Let me tell you something amazing about my journey. I’m not just a counselor; I’m an encourager, a hope dealer, a healer and guide, an inspirer, a truth seeker, a networker, a speaker, and a Coach. Helping others to find their voice and healing has come from me finding my own. Sharing on such a deep level has opened doors because my passion flows. I am happy in life and I love my work. I want everyone to feel this way.

I am a psychodynamic Coach. I help people with the broken connections in their lives. Often, that means working through emotional pain, past trauma, and into forgiveness. There isn’t much I haven’t encountered in the many years I’ve been doing this. Sometimes though, there is something I am not meant to walk through with you. Sometimes I am simply not the right person you need. If that is the case, I will help you get to your next destination. Connection is my thing, if you didn’t notice. I have an amazing network of associates and acquaintances who compliment what I do in their own unique ways. As I’ve released this series, I have showcased some of them for you on social media. I want people to know that there are options. I’m not against therapy when it is needed. I do feel that it’s overprescribed and often mismanaged. So many people I’ve worked with have told me they have been in therapy for 15, 20, 30+ years with no results! This usually comes after a couple weeks of working together and they have an amazing breakthrough. Some people are shocked when coaching causes shifts that they didn’t know possible. Shifts, growth, and positive change are part of the process. That’s what coaching can do for you. If you are feeling stuck, and maybe you’ve tried therapy but didn’t really need that method, I believe whole-hearted that coaching can change your life.

Part 4

This is part 4 of a 4 part series that will be released in November & December 2021.

If you enjoyed this topic series and want to know more, look for a new series about life coaching and therapeutic options, coming soon!

Posted on in mindset

Hard Truths. Pt 3

My education, my background, and my passion is built on psychology, professional counseling, marriage and family therapy, human services, and a solid belief in the potential to heal brokenness and trauma. I embrace many thoughts and theories about human understanding and behavior. What I don’t embrace is how something that once was about seeking truth has become a system of control. I know there are good intentioned people in that system. Just like there are good doctors and nurses in a corrupt medical system. (Those two arenas are directly connected, in case you didn’t know.)

So with years of experience, exceptional skills, and a passion for helping people, why would I abandon the mental health field?

  1. The System. I could convince you that the system of professionals you will need to get support from is for your benefit. I was trained to do so. You’ll need your primary doctor to check your health and any specialists for particular issues. You’ll need your therapist to talk to, your psychiatrist to prescribe you the pills that will prove you are sane, your social worker to connect you with additional resources, your case manager to oversee all of your appointments and resources, and so on. It sure looks like you have a lot of support! Any one of those individuals might actually support you and have your best interest in mind. Again, it’s not any one or even all of those people and their positions I despise. It’s THE SYSTEM. You won’t find any one of those professionals going rouge and encouraging anything other than the prescribed path of the medical model. Tell them you don’t need the pills or ask for an alternative and natural remedy. Watch the doors slam closed. There is a prescribed path to treatment that ensures everyone gets in on the money.
  2. The Money. (i.e.: insurance). Someone has to be making the decisions that make up the system. It’s your insurance. Most people depend on insurance to pay for anything related to “health.” We have been conditioned to do so. In fact, most people believe that health is defined by this system. Go back and read part 1 about deceptions we accept as reality. This is one of the first areas I started getting blips on my moral antenna. I didn’t see anything that looked like HEALTHcare happening. In fact, I saw a lot of people being encouraged to stay dependent on the system- the exact opposite of caring for their health.
  3. Diagnosis. In order for your insurance to pay for you to talk to someone, you must have a mental health disorder that is diagnosable. All of the time spent on learning how to diagnose people seemed very altruistic. Once I entered the clinical realm, aka real-world application, I had to re-learn how to diagnose everyone for access to services. This ultimately was my breaking point; something I will share more about later. The key here is that your diagnosis links you to other potential services (see #1) and keeps that money flowing through the system.
  4. Mental Health doesn’t exist. This may be the hardest truth you encounter today. It’s made up. It’s an extension of the medical model in which a severed and separate part of you is treated by physical (pharmaceutical) means for spontaneous dysfunction. That cannot be true. You are an ecosystem. There is no spontaneous dysfunction. Everything happens for a reason. Often the reason is simple and logical. Just because we don’t know the reason does not negate a logical cause and effect. The truth is, we actually DO know most of the reasons! (We being humanity, collectively, somewhere among us.) What I am saying is that the truth is out there. It’s hidden, maybe by the system that profits from causing “mental health issues.”

At this point, someone reading this is already rejecting a newly encountered truth. We are most likely to reject truth which threatens our identity. If that is you, let me extend to you grace and hope. You will find what you are meant to find when you are meant to have it. I believe that. Sometimes we see seeds being planted and don’t know when they will grow or what they will become. If you feel a sense of curiosity, of wonder, of intrigue, or any openness to new information, You are on the right path and will continue to find what you are meant to find as you are ready for it. Be blessed.

Part 3

This is part 3 of a 4 part series that will be released in November & December 2021. Part 1 introduces the topic of cognitive dissonance and the foundational truth that not everything is as it seems. Part 2 develops the process of accepting truth and the personal revelations that became apparent to me once I sought truth. Part 3 exposes the system and the moral conflict it creates. It also shines a light on the hope and reason of a better way.

Posted on in mindset

Hard Truths. Pt 2

I’ve been through the growth process of encountering truth a few times in my life. First, there is an encounter with a new idea. Second, there is an awareness of the authenticity that is truth. Third, there is the turmoil of cognitive dissonance. Fourth, there comes an acceptance of the truth which sparks great motivation. (For some, the process ends at step four with rejecting the truth.) Fifth, there is a decluttering and organizing process that takes place as old ideas and new ideas are questioned in light of the new truth. This is where there is some letting go of what no longer suites my reality and some embracing of new concepts that seem to fit just right and feel like they’ve been known all along. Finally, there is a time of peace and joy that comes with encountering truth.

I have found that each time something new and true is encountered, the process becomes easier as it grows more familiar. At first the process feels very much like a process and each step can unfold in a very calculated and thoughtful way. At some point, that spiritual sense is stronger and the process is more like a quick flow of simply acknowledging the truth and welcoming it home. Intuition is a muscle that grows stronger with regular exercise.

I invested a lot of years into “higher education” learning skills and gaining understanding of the human mind. My path was a winding road rather than a straight line. Along the way I learned a lot about life, about education, and about what it means to be successful. I learned much more from people and experiences than anything I learned from books. And you should know I am an avid reader who loves books.

When I completed graduate school and stepped into the clinical world, I learned some hard truths. Simply put, I learned that the clinical world was not for me. So much that I encountered created moral conflict for me. I will go deeper on that in the next article. I also learned that, like most industries, the mental health arena is highly guarded, highly regulated, and it is an exclusive club. The price of membership is high; it will cost your moral and ethical dedication to boards of so-called experts who are governed by the same system that uses witchcraft, mind-control, and the love of money to guide all decisions.

I titled this Hard Truths for a reason. Accepting that last revelation was the beginning of my freedom. With an open mind, it can be yours too.

Part 2

This is part 2 of a 4-part series that will be released in November & December 2021. Part 1 introduces the topic of cognitive dissonance and the foundational truth that not everything is as it seems. Part 2 develops the process of accepting truth and the personal revelations that became apparent to me once I sought truth.

Posted on in Emotions

A Hellish Train Ride to a Desolate Place

Imagine you are on a train. The train is moving along smoothly, at a comfortable speed. The the motion is relaxing. Outside the windows there are beautifully unfolding landscapes; mountains, woods and rivers, an immaculate sky in the background. It is a peaceful, pleasant ride.

You are on the edge of your seat. Sweat is beading down your forehead and your whole body aches with tension. Your stomach is tight and you feel as though you might get sick. You are missing the beautiful landscape and the relaxing atmosphere of the ride. Instead, your neck is cranked so that you can see out the window and straight ahead. Every hill or shadow in front of the train makes you clench your fists tight to the seat cushion. Your anxiety is in full throttle.

Your greatest fear is experiencing a train crash. So instead of being present in the moment to enjoy a blissful ride, you are thinking about the “what ifs” and potential tragedy. It doesn’t matter that you are in a safe place with a near non-existent chance of actual danger. As soon as your brain recognized that just being on a train that is moving left a minute chance and opportunity for disaster, you locked onto that thought. You are actively watching for danger, of which you have no control to do anything about anyway.

Anxiety is a thief. Fear robs us of pleasure and enjoyment. You could be taking in the moment and noticing all the pleasant things about your experience. Instead, you are trapped way up high in your head, in a place that doesn’t actually exist – the land of hasn’t-happened.

What if you could be present on the train? What if you could see the sunset over the hills and notice how wonderful it really is? What if the dangers and disasters in your mind don’t have to take up space there anymore? You can choose presence and peace. I can help.

Posted on in personal development

Growing and Going

I love plants and life. We can learn so much from all levels of life, including our life-giving green friends. Let me be honest; I wish I were more of a gardener. I’ve had moments in life where I’ve had my hand in growing things and making beautiful life bloom. More often though, I fail at keeping little chlorophyll darlings alive. It’s really hit-or-miss for me. In the wild, where only God gets the credit for what grows and thrives, I love being a mindful observer.

In some ways we are a lot like plants. God gives as a start, roots, and nurtures us to grow. We need Sonlight and the flowing water of the Holy Spirit. We must be pruned in order to produce good fruit. And if God chooses to uproot us and transfer us somewhere else, it is in our best interest to not resist but to trust him, take root, and grow through the changes.

Sometimes we need to just be where we are planted and grow. In fact, much of life is a matter of growing as we go through both times of downpour and drought. In my life, I have many moments of feeling stuck in a certain place where growth was hard and painful. I also have many moments where growth was a freeing as wildflowers, and maybe just as beautiful. The parts of my story where there was uprooting, transplanting, and going somewhere different; in every case it made me stronger and more able to see the Father’s love for me.

Does this resonate with you?

Posted on in mindset, Success

Mindset Power

You will find what you’re looking for.

What if I tell you that you have the power to create your reality? Would you believe it? What would you do with that power?

There is a reality absent of thoughts or feelings. It is made of facts and laws. It is a fact that it is 73 degrees Fahrenheit in Ohio today. It is natural law that as the acorns are released from the tree they will fall to the ground and not float suspended in the air.

There are also many versions of reality which exist in the minds of those who perceive the natural world. Your perception is your reality. That is affected by facts and truth as well as input from others that we accept. We have great influence and power to change how we see things.

Perception is about focus. What I focus on will shape my perspective. In simplest form; perspective can either be positive or negative. Attributing “good” and “bad” can be a learned behavior. It is a way that boundaries are modeled and manipulated. For example; children are told what is bad and taught to avoid such. We also can choose what is positive or negative personally by what aligns with the truth that we accept.

If your focus is on negatives, limitations, and obstacles, that is what you will see in front of you. You will find what you’re looking for. Focus on what is positive, opportunities, and possibilities, if you want to shift your reality.

Posted on in personal development, Success

Life is a Verb

It is the first week of January. A new month, a new year, a new decade is upon us. This time is symbolic of hope, aspirations and resolutions. The common joke is that it will all be discarded in the upcoming weeks as reality comes crashing down around us. Life goes on as it always does.

All the good intentions of the recent resolutions made come from a true place of desire. A desire to change, to prosper, and to get more out of life. It doesn’t have to be a January thing. Change can be an active way to live. The alternative is a passive existence.

How often do we settle for a passive existence? The television that sits on it’s throne which we all gather around speaks to this chosen lifestyle of passivity. We give up hours watching someone else live! We buy into fairy tales scripted to feed our desires for something more. Those hours turn into days, into weeks, and before we know it we have lost time and so much more.

We don’t have to lose that time. I disconnected the cable long ago and am so much happier without it. I can barely find spare time to fit in all of what I want to do and I wonder how I ever found time to sit idly in front of that screen. The television itself isn’t an evil. An occasional family movie night can be a great way to connect and share a laugh. All technology is useful and has the potential for good. Is it a tool you are using or is it using you?

I would love to talk to more people who are connected to others and their passions. So many people answer the question “How do you relax?” with the familiar “I watch TV.” I don’t believe that drama and media provide much if any relaxation. However, a cup of tea at a cafe with a friend, completing that art project, taking a walk outside, or doing something with your hands and mind might just do something good for you.

Whether you have a long list of resolutions or you haven’t even tried to make up one; consider taking an inventory of how you spend your time and see if maybe there is a connection or passion that could better serve you as you start this new year.