Tag: hope

Posted on in Healing, Identity, mindset, personal development

Things Remembered & Things Forgotten

Gaps in memory, and dissociative amnesia, the lingering effects of CPTSD. Even after years of healing, the struggle with memory and cognitive function can linger and cause significant impact on daily life. It’s possible to work on processing and reactions so that triggers have less of an impact. Time passing creates a physical distance between the present moment and traumatic moments, easing the effect of emotional response. Even with all the progress of healing, a faltering memory causes distress.

It’s been said that healing is not linear. Sometimes the upswing of progress gets interrupted by a spiral that feels like falling backwards. A rough moment can disappear into full confidence that feels like being “back on track” and so the cycle becomes more like a tornado- twisting and turning, with sudden changes in direction, some beauty and awe, some devastating destruction. The truth is, healing becomes a new state of being, with its own complex state of mind, and the need to adapt to life in unique ways.

There have been moments in my own life where I have longed for a resolution. I have hoped that healing would have an ending that might transport me to a new state of being that looks much more like an old state of being before the trauma. Yet, a lived experience cannot be erased. Who I am today is assembled from all of my experiences; my failures, my successes, the residual emotions that remind me what those moments felt like, and the calculations that come out of knowing all that I now know because of those experiences. The good, the bad, and the ugly are better off owned rather than avoided so that I can completely understand who I am and where I am going.

Understanding the potential to use my experiences to become a better version of myself today means I have the power to dictate what any event or emotion means for me in the here and now. My power and control lie in what I do with what has happened to me rather than passively avoiding the truth of my past. I am at the point in my own healing that I am empowered, confident, and actively seeking growth. So, I can say from experience, there is hope. To anyone who is reeling in a fresh wound, facing the reality of pain and grief, know that you won’t live there forever.

Posted on in embodiment, trauma

Post Trauma

You’ve likely heard of PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. After someone has gone through a traumatic event, they may develop symptoms that interfere with daily life and include physical, mental, and emotional disturbances. At the extreme, this can be crippling and requires professional support to recover. In many cases, symptoms are less severe and may even be hidden, giving the appearance of normal functioning. Many professionals believe that PTSD can be resolved by treatment and plenty of living proof is walking around in the world. Some believe that the effects are life-long and at the very least, change how a person experiences life. To any person who is struggling with PTSD, especially those who try to hide it, do not be afraid to reach out and seek support. There are amazing therapies that can improve your life.

What happens after therapy? Maybe you’ve improved enough to function well but still feel different than you used to be. Maybe you have been through something traumatic but don’t have the symptoms of PTSD, yet you still feel not yourself. Maybe you notice that traumatic thoughts resurface sometimes, or that triggers exist in unexpected ways. Regardless of any diagnosis, or treatment you’ve had, maybe you just know that an event changed you and that’s hard to accept.

When there’s no stress disorder (PTSD) but you’re stuck in the limbo post trauma (PTSD) or you’ve healed a lot but still the post trauma changes linger, it can be a confusing place. Social messages tell you that you’re either all broken or should be all healed and back to your old self. That’s simply not the case. Everything we go through in life forms us, changes us, and impacts who we become. This is true of positive and negative occurrences, big and small. Even when we go through a negative or distressing event, we can utilize the effects of that experience for positive growth. We become more aware, more insightful, more compassionate, we see the world differently, and even the hard parts can be used for good.

Trauma is too common. It’s part of the human experience. Everyone gets dealt a different hand and we never know what tomorrow holds. Count your blessings every day because bad can’t erase good. And if you find yourself in the post trauma fog looking for answers, come with me on a journey of healing and find hope.

Posted on in Spirituality

Hope in a Dark World.

It’s a week before Christmas. This season of holiday time and festivities elicits the image of a bustling, happy home full of family and food. Gifts are plentiful and people gather round a warm fireplace or couch for conversations and shared memories. Many a Hallmark movie would have us believe that this is the standard of acceptable activity in the coming week. There is peace on earth and good tidings everywhere!

What if that image doesn’t fit your home, your family, or your outlook? What if you aren’t “okay” this moment or this season? What if realities like loneliness, grief, broken relationship, poverty, abuse, addiction, or depression are closer than peace on earth? For many, this is a season of getting through, pressing on, or hoping for a better tomorrow.

If you don’t feel merry and bright in this moment, that’s okay. You’re not alone and you’re not defined by your emotions. Emotions serve to communicate something; whether an indicator to us internally or an expression of the internal to someone on the outside. They are useful and good but they are not in control. It’s okay to feel and it’s okay to act according to the reality you choose even if that doesn’t follow your emotions. Decision and action are powerful means to affect reality, as reality is largely perception.

There is one decision that stands forefront in the hearts of humankind which has the power to affect perception and reality like none other; to accept the gift of grace that God freely gives which provides peace and hope. This decision is yours despite your circumstances or emotions.
“Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.” Romans 15:13.